Christmas is Over!

Christmas is over and I’ve spent the last 48 hours cleaning my house.

On Xmas Eve the kids and I started our traditions around 9:30. Was supposed to be 9, but I was still wrapping until then. We made the cookies and they opened their Xmas Eve gifts. Pajamas for each and two Xmas movies. We ate cookies and watched the movies which I fell asleep on (GAWD I’m old. =/ ). Around 12:30am Shan woke up her old ass mammy and said they were headed to bed. I stayed awake for the next 4 hours. ZGTmnijohvjnroi;aeroig;r GAH! Gabbing on the phone and playing Santie.

Kids got up around 8 am on Xmas morning. I could have slept another 2…3…5 hours…but hey, they were excited. Apparently some fat jolly man (humph) came in the middle of the night and gave all people under the age of 18 nice gifts. To be young again.

Usually we have a mess of crap everywhere with 3 kids ripping paper from 2 gifts at a time. I decided that this year (being in the new house and having new traditions) we were going to be neater about this whole thing. I grabbed a giant BLACK trash bag, made the kids sit in a circle and put the bag in the middle of them (this was going to be easy peasy).

I gave Shan a gift and tortured the other kids by making them watch her open it. After 2 rounds of handing one gift and making each kid watch I looked over at the mound of gifts dropped off by relatives from all over Cleveland. This was gonna take all fruitin’ day! I decided that…OK…I’ll give each kid a gift and they can open them at the same time and only AFTER all trash has been deposited into the giant BLACK trash bag can we continue to the next round. I giggled with glee because it was Xmas morning and there was NO trash on my floor. My evil plan was working! *giggity*

Well, 2 rounds seems to be my limit because after the second round I realized this wasn’t working. Raph wasn’t putting his trash IN the bag. I mean, he tried, but it made it onto the floor every time. Not only that, but he was slow! The girls were ready to move on to the next gift, but he was still trying to figure out how to open his package with one hand while the other hand dove into his stocking for more chocolate goodies.

So, I had a new plan…let him go at his own pace! He’s a boy, they’re slow (mwahaha) *cough*. I piled all his gifts around him and let him have at them at will. I’d just clean up his mess, because one kid’s mess couldn’t be as bad as three. But then…Shae wanted to know how Raph got so many gifts at once? And Shan wanted to know if she could eat candy while she opened her gifts too and could I help her with her trash pick-up?? And mommy, can you open this Barbie??? But mommy I wanted you to open this Cabbage Patch Kid first???? Mommy open this remote control car that is totally screwed into the fucking box!!! GAH! Yea…they didn’t say fucking, but I know they wanted to. I was overwhelmed and the bag was overflowing. =/

By 10 am there were 2.5 giant BLACK trash bags in the kitchen filled with boxes and twisties and rubberbands and plastic wrap and wrapping paper and my sanity. Damnit.

At 11 am my mother called to tell me, Oh yea…we picked up a huge santa sack of gifts from your aunt’s house for the kids, you need to pick it up. Bring a U-haul.

By noon Ray called to say he was bringing gifts from his family.

By 5 minutes after NOON I said Fuck it (with a smile). More gifts came in and the floor disappeared by 3. It was WONDERFUL! I sat on the couch while my line of kids (Gosh I have a lot of kids) stood in front of me while I worked at box after box of toys. Why the hell they weld the toys to the boxes I don’t know. I needed scissors, screwdrivers and pliers to pry the toys from their home. When I was done, I threw the box on the floor. ON THE FLOOR! It was great! The kids and I rolled around in the mess, ate chocolate with our feet and got drunk off of the pure joy! PURE JOY! After I stopped being anal all went pretty well.

By 11 pm anality (yes…anality) set back in and I was on a mission.  I dove in and I’m just swimming out at 3pm on Wed. *sigh* I need a maid.

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